The Radical Feminist Joke

A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchial society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," and she pushes him back onto the seat. A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up.
Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already."

Sexist Women Jokes - A Lesson in Maths

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Human = Pigs + work + enjoy
If, Human - enjoy = Pigs + work
In other words,
Human that don't enjoy = pigs that work

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Men = Pigs + earn money
If Men - earn money = Pigs
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Pigs

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence,
Women = Pigs + spend
If, Women - spend = Pigs
In other words,

Women that don't spend = Pigs

Summary:
Men earn money not to let women become pigs!
Women spend not to let men become pigs!

Men + Women = 2 Pigs
Wish all the pigs to be happy forever. ...thats Maths!!!

Sexist Women Jokes - Breast Differences

Women with big breasts…

•..can get a taxi on the worst days

•..have a neat place to carry spare change

•..have always been the centre of the arts

•..make jogging a spectator sport

•..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub

•..usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie

•..always float better

•..know where to look first for lost earrings

•..rarely lack for a slow dance partner

•..have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner

Women with small breasts…

•..don’t cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public

•..always look younger

•..find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap

•..can always see their toes and shoes

•..can sleep on their stomachs

•..have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars

•..know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts

•..can come late to a theatre and not disrupt an entire aisle

•..can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out.

Some Funny Q and A Short Women Jokes

The following funny women jokes can be put in different categories but we will add them all at the same time. Hope you like them!

Q: what is the huge difference between a terrorist and a girl?

A: You can not negotiate with any woman.

Q: What is the difference between a gun and a girl?

A: You Can not put any silencer on the woman.

Q: Why is a man smarter than a woman?

A: Because he has 2 heads.

And the last funny woman joke at the moment is actually both a short joke and a sexist woman joke:

Q: Why Did God Always say that the man is better than the woman?

A: Because God found a big leakage in the body of the woman.

Rules for Women Written by Men

Well, the truth is that we men have a lot of rules put upon us by women. Here are those rules that we should have for women.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

A Few Random Sexist Women Jokes

Sexist Woman Joke 1:

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.

Sexist Woman Joke 2:

What's the first thing a woman does when she gets back from the battered women's clinic?
The dishes if she knows what's good for her.

Sexist Woman Joke 3:

Why do women get married in white?
So they match the kitchen appliances!

Sexist Woman Joke 4:

Why is clinton gonna lose the election?
Cause she is a woman

Sexist Woman Joke 5:

Whats the difference between your wife and your dog?
Walking the dog is relaxing.

Sexist Woman Joke 6:

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why. - quote by Adam Ferrara

10 Reasons Why a Handgun is Better than a Woman

10 - You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.
9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.
6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of ammo.
5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month.
3 - A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
1 - You can buy a silencer for a handgun.

What is The Difference Between Big Breasts and Small Breasts - Woman Joke

Women with big breasts…

•..can get a taxi on the worst days
•..have a neat place to carry spare change
•..have always been the centre of the arts
•..make jogging a spectator sport
•..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
•..usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie
•..always float better

What does the Woman Actually Mean?

We all have problems understanding women. If the next lines are true or not you decide. Here is what a woman says and what she actually means:

No = Yes.
Of course I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
I might as well tell you Bob and I are seeing each other = Bob and I are having sex.
I feel I've known you my whole life = I'm drunk.
Will you respect me in the morning? = You won't tell your friends, will you?
I never do this on my first date = I always do this on my first date.
Don't touch me there = Touch me there, but I'm going to stop you
You're...so manly = You need to shave and you sweat a lot.
Hello? Oh yes. Didn't we meet at the bar Friday night? = I've been waiting by the phone for three days
Let's not talk "commitment". Let's just see what happens = I'm not taking any birth control pills.
You're certainly lovely tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I can't believe you're here.It must be fate = I've been following you all day.
I'm particular who I have sex with = I draw the line at barnyard animals.
I'm not emotional and I'm not over-reacting = I'm having my period.
I hope you're not disappointed =I'm flat chested.
Want to come upstairs for a nightcap? = Want to come upstairs and have sex?
Just come upstairs for a drink = Maybe if I get you drunk you'll have sex with me.
I love a man who takes charge = You're picking up the bill, aren't you?
Be romantic...turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

Does it Hurt to Become a Woman?

A male-to-female transexual was recently interviewed on a radio talk show. The DJ asked the transexual about what, if any, pain the person experienced during the operation. The transexual replied,

"Well, when they cut my penis off, that really didn't hurt too much. Even when they implanted the breasts in my chest, well, that really didn't hurt too much either...."

"Then you didn't experience any real physical pain at all then?"

"Hell no! It hurt like hell when they stuck that big fucking needle in my head and sucked out all my brains and then cut my salary in half!"

3 Women Die and Get to Heaven

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on - very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

Even more Different Stages of a Woman's Life

Favorite drink:
Age 17: Wine Coolers
Age 25: White wine
Age 35: Red wine
Age 48: Dom Perignon
Age 66: Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

Excuses for refusing dates:
17: Need to wash my hair
25: Need to wash and condition my hair
35: Need to colour my hair
48: Need to have Francois color my hair
66: Need to have Francois color my wig

The Ages of a Woman Joke

Out of all women jokes there are some that are quite similar to reality. This is definitely one of them. So how does your wife/girlfriend fit in?

1. Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.
2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.
3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.
4. Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.
5. After 56 she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there but who gives a damn?