How Much is a Woman's Brain Worth?

Be advised! This is a woman joke for the ladies.

A family went to a hospital, where one of their relatives would be having a brain transplant. One of the relatives asked, "What will the cost of a new brain be?" The doctor replied, "A female brain costs $25,000 and a male brain costs $50,000." The men smirked, but one of the females asked, "Why is that, doctor?" "Well," the doctor replied, "...the female brains must be marked down because they have been used before!"

The Farmer's Shotgun

We understand that this is not really a women joke but it was still funny so we had to put it on. Be careful what you say to some people, especially when they have a shotgun and they are asking your daughter out.

Did you hear the one about the overprotective farmer and his three daughters?

Whenever one of his daughters had a date, he would meet the young man at the door with a shotgun in his hand.

One night, all three daughters had dates. When the first date rang the bell, the farmer picked up his shotgun and answered the door. "Hi, I'm Eddie," said the boy, "I'm here for Betty, we're gonna get spaghetti."

The farmer didn't care much for poetry, but let his oldest daughter go out anyway.

A little bit later the doorbell rang again. The farmer grabbed his shotgun, opened the door, and the boy said "Hi, I'm Joe. I'm here for Flo. We're going to the show."

The farmer let his middle daughter out for the evening.

With only his youngest daughter left at home, the doorbell rang again. Shotgun in hand the farmer opened the door.

"Hi, I'm Chuck..." began the boy.

The farmer shot him.

The Radical Feminist Joke

A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchial society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," and she pushes him back onto the seat. A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up.
Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already."

Sexist Women Jokes - A Lesson in Maths

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Human = Pigs + work + enjoy
If, Human - enjoy = Pigs + work
In other words,
Human that don't enjoy = pigs that work

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Men = Pigs + earn money
If Men - earn money = Pigs
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Pigs

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence,
Women = Pigs + spend
If, Women - spend = Pigs
In other words,

Women that don't spend = Pigs

Summary:
Men earn money not to let women become pigs!
Women spend not to let men become pigs!

Men + Women = 2 Pigs
Wish all the pigs to be happy forever. ...thats Maths!!!

Other Women Jokes - Can You Please Women?

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

Marriage Women Jokes - Be Careful with the Wedding Vow

You should be really careful what happens with your wedding vow. Also, make sure that you pay attention and do not think aloud or this marriage women joke might be reality:

During the weeks before Amy's wedding, she was terribly anxious about making some mistakes at the ceremony. The minister reassured her several times, pointing out that the service was not difficult and she will do just fine.

"All you have to remember," he said, "is that when you enter the church you walk up the AISLE. The groom and best man will be waiting before the ALTAR. Then I shall request the congregation to sing a HYMN... then we shall get on with the ceremony. All you have to remember is the order in which those things happen and you can't go wrong."

The happy day finally arrived, and the bridegroom waited nervously for his bride to appear.

When she arrived and stood alongside him, he heard her quietly repeating to herself, "Aisle, altar, hymn, aisle, altar, hymn." Or, as it sounded to him, "I'll alter him!"

Sexist Women Jokes - Breast Differences

Women with big breasts…

•..can get a taxi on the worst days

•..have a neat place to carry spare change

•..have always been the centre of the arts

•..make jogging a spectator sport

•..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub

•..usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie

•..always float better

•..know where to look first for lost earrings

•..rarely lack for a slow dance partner

•..have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner

Women with small breasts…

•..don’t cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public

•..always look younger

•..find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap

•..can always see their toes and shoes

•..can sleep on their stomachs

•..have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars

•..know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts

•..can come late to a theatre and not disrupt an entire aisle

•..can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out.