The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said," Dust!"
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
If you want your wife to listen and pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
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