Sexist Women Jokes - Breast Differences

Women with big breasts…

•..can get a taxi on the worst days

•..have a neat place to carry spare change

•..have always been the centre of the arts

•..make jogging a spectator sport

•..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub

•..usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie

•..always float better

•..know where to look first for lost earrings

•..rarely lack for a slow dance partner

•..have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner

Women with small breasts…

•..don’t cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public

•..always look younger

•..find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap

•..can always see their toes and shoes

•..can sleep on their stomachs

•..have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars

•..know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts

•..can come late to a theatre and not disrupt an entire aisle

•..can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out.

Short Marriage Women Jokes You Will Like

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said," Dust!"

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

If you want your wife to listen and pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Stupid Women Jokes - The Bet with the Blonde Woman

A redhead walks into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. She sits down next to this blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The redhead turns to the blonde and says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

The redhead placed $20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 dollars to the redhead and said, "All is fair. Here is your money."

The redhead replies, "Honey, I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again"

Other Women Jokes - I want to Understand Women

A man is walking down a beach, and accidentally kicks a bottle out of the sand. He opens the bottle, and a genie appears. The genie said,

"I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you one wish. I can only grant one."

The man thought for a while and finally said,

"I have always wanted to go to Hawaii. I've never been able to go because airplanes are much too frightening for me and boats make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."

The genie thought for a few minutes and said,

"No, I can't do it. Imagine all the work involved. All the piling to hold up the highway needed and all the pavement. Ask for something else."

"Well," the man said. "I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with. Basically, what makes them tick."

The genie considered this for a couple of minutes and said,

"So, do you want that road two lanes or four?"

Stupid Women Jokes - Why Choose the Cat?

A woman managed to save the life of a fairy. As a result that fairy promised the woman to grant her 3 wishes.

The first one was that she became beautiful and young again. The fairy immediately granted the wish.

The second one was that she became the richest in the world. The fairy immediately granted the wish.

The third one was that her cat was turned into a handsome man that loved her since the cat has been near her for a long time. The fairy immediately granted the wish.

Then the fairy left and the cat came near the woman. He said:

"Now I am sure that you are sorry that you neutered me!"

Some Funny Q and A Short Women Jokes

The following funny women jokes can be put in different categories but we will add them all at the same time. Hope you like them!

Q: what is the huge difference between a terrorist and a girl?

A: You can not negotiate with any woman.

Q: What is the difference between a gun and a girl?

A: You Can not put any silencer on the woman.

Q: Why is a man smarter than a woman?

A: Because he has 2 heads.

And the last funny woman joke at the moment is actually both a short joke and a sexist woman joke:

Q: Why Did God Always say that the man is better than the woman?

A: Because God found a big leakage in the body of the woman.

Rules for Women Written by Men

Well, the truth is that we men have a lot of rules put upon us by women. Here are those rules that we should have for women.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.